Follow My Voice
by Beccakaye11
Summary: Months after doomsday, and her separation from the Doctor, Rose keeps hearing a familiar voice. A telepathic connection between the Doctor and Rose brings them closer than ever in more ways than one. (rated M for later chapters)
1. Rose

Dust fell from the fan in Rose's crowded room. Her eyes settled on the illuminated particles of dust drifting in front of the sliver of light in her curtains. She let her eyelids rest, and burrowed herself further into her bed.

It had been months since she lost the doctor. She hadn't done much since then, except remember everything about him, their adventures, and wish she didn't have the ability to breathe or exist. Her Mum, Peter, & Mickey frequently pressured her to eat, or even acknowledge what had happened.. But she couldn't move on. She didn't want to. The pain, the hole ripped through her chest was the only reminder she had that everything wasn't a dream. His face was seared onto her eyelids, its all she could ever see. It was poison, he was poison to her veins. The possibilities and things that could have been and would never be were paralyzing. She took in a broken, raggedy breath, and fumbled for her capsules. She took one into her mouth, then another. She forced them down her throat without liquid and closed her eyes. Waiting to not feel.

_rose.. rose… listen.. hear my voice._

Rose woke up groggy, her tired, medicated form slumping against the headboard. She felt light, as if she were back in the tardis, drifting from star to planet. The medicine frequently diluted her thoughts and feelings. It was a proved side effect, but honestly it felt like something more to her. She used it every night, every day. That medicine was the only chance she could hear a whisper of his voice. She could almost feel his slender hand around hers, sometimes when she slept. Other times she could hear the sound of the Tardis' engine blaring in her ears. That was all she lived for, the moments when she could imagine him, in his tardis, in time and space.

_rose. please_

She rubbed her eyes, thinking the medicine still had hold on her, but it sounded so real. She wanted it to be real so badly. Her mum tapped on the door, and then entered her cluttered room. "Rose darling, I made tea.." She said sweetly. Her mom was pregnant, and too energetic for her age. She tried to smile, mostly for her mom. It was a failure, the smile was lopsided and empty. Her mom handed her the hot cuppa, and noticed Rose's capsules scattered all about her nightstand. "Would you like me to clean up your room? You could do with a make over, or we could get you some air?" Her mom rambled worriedly, picking up the narcotics with shaking hands. Once all the pills were in the bottle, her mum shook it, then read the label. Oh god, here we go again. "Rose, you've taken nearly the entire bottle!" Jackie nearly choked out. "I cant sleep" Rose said quietly, her voice sounding alien to her. "All you do is sleep, Rose please, come out we can get chips, and .. I dont know something more than this room" Jackie said, her own voice bobbing in her throat. It all annoyed Rose. How could she get up and act like nothing happened? When everything in the universe was still out there, he was still out there, and she was stuck here. "Mum, please.." Rose said tiredly, the fight that never ended.

"You talk in your sleep." Her mum mouthed quietly, as if she were afraid to talk. "Everynight, everyday.. The same thing, same words.." She said, as if she were the one in pain. Rose clenched her jaw, it wasn't possible for her mum to understand, for anyone to understand what she had, and what she lost. She didn't want to talk about it, she didn't want to think about it, she wanted to go back. _Take me back. _"Drink your tea.. I'll be down stairs if you.." Her mum kissed her cheek and sniffled her way out to the hall.

Rose set the tea on the bedside table, and picked up her bottle of capsules. She emptied one out into her hand and rolled it softly between her palms.

_rose.. rose dont take it._

She dropped the pill.. Was she going crazy? She was used to hearing his voice in her dreams, but never when she was awake.. and never so clear. As if he were in the room with her. Her heart sank, and her eyes scanned her dark room, her heart felt like it would rip apart. _doctor? _She asked, rolling her eyes at herself after a moment of silence. It was just her demented mind playing tricks on her. She wanted it so badly to be true she would hear anything. She ran her hand over her face and slowly eased her stiff body from her bed. She fumbled around her dark room until she reached her bathroom. She flicked the switch, and waited for her eyes to focus. In the mirror her eyes weren't staring back, but two brown eyes, with long lashes, and that piercing stare that she would remember even when she couldn't remember her own face. Her heart hurt in her chest, her breath got caught in her throat and her knees gave out.

_rose _


	2. Madness

Rose woke up in an unfamiliar white room, with harsh chemical smells, and flickering fluorescent lights. Her eyes were heavy, and her clothing felt rough and stiff against her skin. Her eyes closed again without her permission. She tried to lift her fingers, but they were heavy, just like the rest of her body. She could feel cold tubes against her chest, and arms. _shit_.

"Shes waking up, mick, pete, she's up" she heard her mums voice, it sounded distant and tired. "Why- am I here?" She said, her voice groggy and thick in her throat. She looked around, her vision was blurry, and the room seemed to be swirling. The nausea in her stomach felt as if it were going to bubble over. The smell of the chemicals made her eyes burn. "Rose, dont talk" Peter said, resting a hand on Jackies shoulder. Jackie touched roses hand and then looked at the floor. "We're worried darling.. you dont eat, or get up, or sleep.. You've been like this for months, and you just keep taking those pills, and .." Jackie trailed off.. Rose couldn't tell if she was crying or if she was just trying to act dramatic. "Mum, I swear I'm fine." She tried to sound convincing, but she couldn't even convince herself.

"Rose I have to ask you?" Her mums voice shook, Mickey walked to the other side of roses bed and grabbed her frail hand. She looked at him with furrowed brows. She looked at her mum, the baby that was protruding stomach, and Pete, his large, familiar hands on her mums shoulders. "Did you.." Her mum started and lost her voice. Rose hadn't seen her mum this shook up since the death of her nan. "Did you try to?" Jackie started again, her voice and hands shaking. Rose looked at her confused, until it clicked.. "What? No- God, No i didn't I wouldn't?" She said a little upset that her mum would suggest that she would take her own life. Even thought the thought had crossed her mind.

Her mum's head dropped into her hands, and she heard a sigh of relief escape the mouths of her family. "God, do you even know me anymore?" Rose said, she felt sick, her stomach was spinning along with her head and the room. Her skin was cold and the gown on her was scratching her skin roughly. She sat up, and ripped the I.V from her arm.

_rose please._

Her head snapped up so fast her eyes lost focus, his voice was in her head, and it made her chest hurt.

Her family took her home, without saying a word the entire ride there. She sat as close to the door as she could, preparing herself to spring from the car once it stopped. Her muscles ached, she hadn't moved around this much since before.. Her back was rigid, and her arm was bruised and bloody from the I.V. Their car stopped, and rose bolted from the car and into the house before Mickey could help her. She ran up the stairs to her room, she hadn't noticed how stuffy, and suffocating the room actually was until after she breathed clean air. She cracked her window and sucked in the chill of the air from outside until her lungs hurt. _good, im not drugged, i can feel pain. _She began stripping her clothes from her aching body, she ran the water into the tub, steam floating from the rippling water and filled her nostrils, clearing her head. She locked the door, and stepped into the scalding water.

It had been quite some time before she realized she had dozed off, steam clouded the bathroom, but she felt better, the stench of the harsh chemicals from the hospital washed away, and her muscles relaxed in the water. Hairs stood up on the back of her neck, and goose flesh covered her skin. The water was still very hot, but she could feel soft, freezing drops on her arms. The cold hurt her throat, and made her hands burn. She held out her arms, looking for a clue, but nothing, it felt as if snow was falling on her skin. She eased under the water until she was completely submerged. The heat washed over her and the feeling of snow was gone. A loud screeching burst in her ears, she gasped for air, but the water filled her mouth. She shot out of the water, and choked up the mix of soap, chemicals, and hot water. The noise was blaring, screeching, bursting.. Hot tear ran down her face as she sputtered out bath water. That was a sound that she knew better than her own voice. The sound of the Tardis.

She jumped out of the bath and grabbed a towel, slipping on the cold floor and bracing herself with the towel rack. She swung the door open and ran down the stairs, stumbling over her own feet. Her heart beat quicker than ever before, her head was rushing with adrenaline and her feet couldn't carry her body fast enough. She ran through the living room, passing her mum, slumped on the shoulder of Pete, and Mickey sitting by the fire. They all turned and called after her as she burst through the front door, the freezing air hitting her still-wet legs and arms. Her towel barely covered mid thigh, and her hair started to freeze. She gasped, and looked around wildly, her eyes tearing up from the cold air. She ran out to the road, standing nearly in the middle of it. Her neighbors peered out their windows with worried eyes. Mickey ran out to grab her, but she hit his chest. "I heard it, I heard him, I know I heard-" She started, breathless and gasping. He wrapped his arms around her, and tried to guide her back into the house. She stood planted, her bare feet on the pavement, and her wild blonde hair turning into ice strands. "Rose, I didn't hear a thing.. I'm sorry.. Please just-" He tried to talk calmly, but he worried she was losing everything about herself. "No, I heard it, I felt it in my bones, Mickey I know" She said, her body feeling limp. "I heard it" She said, giving up, her voice hoarse and breaking between each breath.

Her family had done their rounds, and said their words, and she was safely in bed. Her mums tea was steaming on the bedside table, next to where her sleeping pills used to be. She turned her head, trying to find the cool side of the pillow. She could still hear the faint screeching of the breaks on the Tardis. She knew she heard it, it was so real, she could almost feel the wind and dust swirling around her as it landed. She touched her arm lightly, remembering the snowfall in the bathroom.. Maybe she was crazy, she certainly couldn't explain anything, she couldn't remember anything. She drifted off, thinking about the snow falling on her skin, and the sound of the tardis so close she could feel it. And then she heard his voice. _rose, listen. I need you to listen. _She shot up in bed, cold sweat drenching her body, she felt shaky and sick, like the world was spinning in her mind. She let out a grunt of frustration and covered her face. "Bloody hell" She screamed. She wanted to go back, either back, or nothing at all. She couldn't do this everyday, she couldn't get up, and drink her mums tea, act like she was fine, go to work in the shops, drive, eat , live. She couldn't do it, it was so dull.


End file.
